April 8, 2013.
Michigan was facing Louisville in the NCAA Championship Game.
If you know anything about me, you know that I love college basketball, especially Big Ten basketball, so only a force of nature could cause me to miss watching that game.
Well, I ended up not watching a single second of it.
I know that Louisville won, but I found that out after the fact. I can’t tell you one detail about how the game played out.
Because I was indeed hijacked by a force of nature that night.
Love at first sight.
April 8, 2013 is the day I met Heather. Today marks the two-year anniversary of seeing her walk around the corner at Union Bear in Dallas, take my breath away, and change my life for the better, forever.
So much in my life has evolved since I met Heather, with my understanding of and appreciation for primility being a prime example.
Because I’ve come to believe that primility from both sides is essential for a relationship to function, grow, and mature, as ours has and as we both hope it continues to. do
Let’s take the easy part first …
Each person must take pride in the positive contributions they bring to the relationship and feel worthy of the other person’s affection. And each person must feel a sense of pride in being with the other person.
There is never a room I walk into with Heather where I am not 100 percent confident that I have the most beautiful, hard-working, perfect-for-me woman on my arm. I don’t say that to brag — it’s just the pride I feel when I look at Heather and know that she chose me.
Now the harder part …
Each person must also, more importantly, have the humility to act inside of the relationship in a way that puts the other person, and the relationship, first.
The pride part is easy when you’re with the right person. The humility part can be very difficult, even with the right person, on a day-in, day-out basis.
It is so natural to act in our own self interests, especially if we’ve lived alone for a while. That was how both Heather and I entered our relationship. Melding our two lives together has been an incredible joy, and brought untold happiness to both of us, but it has not always been perfectly smooth. To say otherwise would be a lie that you wouldn’t believe anyway.
But what I have learned, and what we have learned together, is that when you think and act in a way that puts the other person’s interests first … daily life is so much better, and the days add up to months and years together that you wouldn’t trade for anything.
When this is in place, and in balance, my self-interests are being looked out for, and her self-interests are being looked out for … but we’re not doing it for ourselves; we’re doing it for each other. And there is a next level of joy that comes from genuinely wanting another person to feel happy and fulfilled, and taking direct and intentional actions on a daily basis that contribute to it.
And this simply comes down to humility, which I’ve come to believe is the single-most important attitude for a successful relationship.
I know from the experience of past relationships how important this is, and what can happen when it’s not present.
These last two amazing years with Heather have shown me just how wonderful life can be when it is.
Note: the image above is not actually from our first date, but from our second date. No pictures were taken that first night, but the mental images are as vivid as if it happened yesterday.