So, Jerod gave me a lot to think about when he wrote a blog about the top ten things we say to drive men nuts – and felt that I owed you an explanation as to why we say such things.
I’ll start with mani/pedi, preggers, and totes. It’s just us being lazy. Really. We’re used to character limits, and we talk that way now.
Remember those Nokia phones that were popular in 2000 and you could buy jeweled face plates for? I blame those for our downfall.
Text messages in 2000 probably looked something like this: OMG WTF where r u c u l8r.
Who am I kidding? People probably still send texts like that – but if you own a smart phone, there’s no excuse.
I am guilty of saying, “I know, right?” ALL THE TIME. And I don’t know why. Same with WOO or WOOT. And I can’t defend it or explain it. Maybe the following hypothetical conversation will help:
Me: My old roommate is running the Boston Marathon and is pacing at 7:30 minute miles.
Rachel: That’s crazy!
Me: I know, right? Go Steph! WOOT!
I am ashamed to say I did a search for this phrase in my GMAIL and it returned hundreds of results.
No seriously. I know, right?
Wait, what I was I talking about?
So here’s the thing: we have many annoying things that we say, but so do guys. So since Jerod wanted to help us, it is my turn to help you, the male.
1. Calling us “sweetie” or “kiddo.”
What am I, 10?
Are you expecting me to pop in a Jem and the Holograms DVD after you call me that? (I might do that anyway).
In any case, it is so annoying when a guy who is clearly trying to hit on you is calling you either sweetie or kiddo. My brother-in-law calls my three-year-old and one-year-old nieces sweetie. That is appropriate.
It is not appropriate for the married 40-year old on the train to wink at me and call me sweetie. I’m not three.
Please find a different term.
Or ask my name.
2. Referring to a girl as “smokin’ hot.”
One of my friends used to do this all the time.
First of all, why “smokin’?” How is that different from just “hot”?
Also, referring to a girl as such in front of another girl makes her feel like she is Plainy McJaney. Please do not do this.
3. “Hey”
You may be thinking, what’s wrong with “hey”? I will tell you.
I cannot tell you how many guys have texted me “hey” and nothing else in an attempt to booty call me. I do not respond to “hey.”
It is not a question, it is not interesting, and it is not getting a response.
4. “Send me a pic”
Okay – here’s the deal. I know that Brett Favre and Bobby Petrino and scores of other men have gotten into trouble over text messages they have sent and received, but I read Deadspin, which is precisely the reason I would never send a picture of any part of my body over text messages (except maybe my middle finger).
These days, no one can be trusted.
5. “All girls are crazy”
My old co-worker used to say this ALL THE TIME, and I found it incredibly offensive, especially after he continued to say it AFTER he had a total breakdown at a bar over a girl (that I witnessed).
That alone should prove that NONE of us, regardless of gender, can always keep our emotions in check or make the right decisions all the time.
It’s called life.
6. “Is it that time of the month?/you’re overreacting”
Just because you pissed us off does not mean it is a particular time of any month.
Furthermore – we’re not overreacting.
We should not have to apologize or justify why our feelings are hurt. They’re our feelings, not yours.
7. Anytime they use a slang term for our lady business as an insult.
I trust that I do not need to elaborate on this one.
8. Being called “dude” or “man.”
My friend Mary put it perfectly: “You realize I’m a girl because you are staring at my boobs and buying me drinks. Recognize.”
9. “Bro”
Just as we drive you crazy using the term “besties,” we are just as annoyed and baffled when you use the term “bro.” What is the purpose?
Assuming it is short for “brother,” this makes even less sense. This is why people have names.
10. “I’m not ready for a relationship.”
This just means, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with YOU.” Save us both the stress and be honest.
*****
Do you have any others to add to the list?
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