Before we get into the meat of this post, a quick note to the girls: this post is not meant to pick on you.
Quite the contrary.
In fact, it’s meant to help you. It’s meant to help all of us.
Outside of Indiana basketball and oxygen, what is more important to our daily lives than communication? Not much, if anything.
So whatever we can do to improve communication is a positive.
That’s my goal here…and to have a little fun while we do it.
And yes, I am planning a companion post geared towards the guys, but for that I will need input from the ladies in the comment section. So don’t hold back.
Just be sure you don’t use any of these words or phrases in your comment. They may not actually be driving guys away, that seems a bit harsh; but they’re not helping. And they are definitely driving guys nuts.
I’m fairly certain of that, like, totes for sure. (I know, right!?)
1 & 2. “mani/pedi” and “preggers”
These two phrases kick off the post because they are the ones I personally abhor the most.
I’d have to test this hypothesis out to be completely sure, but I think I would rather listen to Joe Buck sing a Nickelback song while scratching his nails across a chalkboard than to hear these terms used unironically in normal conversation.
Yeah, it’s like that.
Continuing down the list of my personal least favorites is this one.
I am perfectly fine with the word “totes” being used to describe the transportation of an object from one place to another. When used as an abbreviation of the word totally, however, it is just plain awful.
I guess those final two syllables of totally are so cumbersome and/or unnecessary that they don’t even warrant saying?
Hearing this word is the verbal equivalent of being force fed the tiny coagulated cylinder of nastiness that forms at the tip of a Cheez Whiz dispenser after it has been used and then sits idle for a while.
Think about that the next time you say “totes.”
(Someone also suggested the phrase “totes amazeballs,” which I cannot personally say I’ve ever heard. And I know this because I probably would have just jumped off the nearest cliff if I had, which would have prevented me from writing this post.)
You and I probably won’t be if this word crops up often in the normal course of conversation.
5. “I know, right!?”
This one was contributed by Davey Heritier in the Facebook thread we had going about this topic.
I think this is one that is most annoying when overheard in someone else’s conversation. It always seems to be accompanied with an intrusive raising of the voice both in volume and octave. Stop it.
6. “hubby” (and “wifey”)
A few people suggested these one, both on Facebook and in the Reddit thread I got going about this topic too.
I’ve always hated wifey, and for that I actually have to criticize guys, specifically those who participate in hip hop and R&B music, which is where I first remember coming across this one.
As for hubby, since I am not one I suppose it does not personally annoy me…yet. But if I can preemptive strike and begin a successful campaign against it before I get married, I’ll have achieved something worthwhile for myself.
7. “Woo!” and “Woot!”
Suggested by Trick Suley, I’ll list these together, though it’s really the second one that is the true culprit. To make matters worse, it is also usually used more than once, as in “Woot! Woot!” by girls describing something they are excited about. Double the annoyance.
A few people suggested this, which I guess is another way to say crazy? I haven’t heard this one often, but it gets my full endorsements for this list because it doesn’t even make sense as an abbreviation, which offends me greatly as someone who respects language.
The “z” is the most important and distinctive sound in the word, yet it gets removed. WHY?
It makes no dadgum sense.
Reddit came through with this one, and I appreciate the suggestion both because the word is annoying and it is definitely overused.
The exchange where this was suggested sums it up perfectly:
– Just because a man talks to you doesn’t automatically make him a creepy asshole.
— As i’ve gotten out of high school and college, i’ve noticed that term being used less for “unattractive people you aren’t interested in” and more for people that seem to display predatory behavior. I think it should be reserved for the latter.
I’ll say that I’d never really noticed this term before I moved to Dallas. Since living here, however, I’ve heard it a lot and most of the time it has seemed like a gross exaggeration. It probably is.
10. The egregious overuse of the word “cute”
My college friends will not be surprised to see this one on here, as I made my thoughts on girls’ collective destruction of the word cute well known on numerous occasions back then.
I actually thought I could make a difference. Such a fool I was.
I won’t belabor the point here because it’s a losing battle, but when a moderately handsome guy (with either money or a nice car), a puppy, an overpriced pair of shoes, and a miniature shampoo bottle can all be described using the same adjective, what we have is a meaningless adjective.
It describes everything, yet nothing at all.
And it’s all girls’ fault.
- “whatevs” and all other unnecessary abbreviations
- General misuse of “literally” – though both genders have issues with this one.
Now the question for the fellas is this: what did I miss?
These 10 are the ones that annoy me the most, but I’m just one dude. I’m sure there are many, many, many others. Let’s let the ladies know.
It may not change anything. In fact, it could make it worse. Some girls might even say these words more knowing that they bother us.
Ah, but isn’t that the point?
Any girl who would do that isn’t marriage material. Heck she’s barely dinner-with-the-hopes-of-heavy-petting-later material.
So use this post as a litmus test.
Send it to a prospective object of your courtship and affection to see how she responds. She either makes a good faith effort to tidy up her language around you, or she proves indifferent and inconsiderate.
If it’s the former, she’s a keeper. If it’s the latter, time to move on.
Either way bro*, you win.
* – used with irony, as I have a feeling this will come up on the girls’ list…
And for the ladies, now it’s your turn. What words or phrases do guys use that you just hate?
Again, the goal here is improved communication with fewer annoying verbal landmines. We can only achieve this with candid, well-intentioned dialogue.
So speak your minds. I’ll write a companion post or find a female voice I trust to write it.
To kick off the excoriation of annoying guy phrases, here are two from Kerri Kilbourne:
Men: when you “RAWR” at me, or call me “HAWT, you instantly get put into the “no” file. It would take a heckuva lot to redeem yourself from those ones.
Duly noted Kerri.